Monday, 21 October 2013

My caravan dispute

When a neighbour keeps a canal boat on his front lawn, does he really have any right to object to my caravan? This seems like double standards!

We are in dispute, and to be fair, the deeds say that neither one of us is allowed a 'house on wheels' or caravan on our drive. However, the thing that gets my goat is that the neighbours are arguing that this house-boat on a trailer, complete with bedroom, kitchen, bathroom, and modern conveniences, is not a 'house on wheels'.

Our caravan, which is less than half the size however, is indisputibly a caravan, therefore, we are told to fork out a small fortune for storage, and drive it miles away, so that their sensitive eyes are not offended. While apparently the boat is fine.

Now call me paranoid, but I'm feeling a bit picked on. I could park a double decker bus across the lawn and apparently that would be fine as there is no mention of double decker buses in the deeds. Up the other end of town, no-one is allowed to have a TV aerial (according to their deeds) but they all ignore this.

The trouble is, being a writer, I'm at home all day, getting disapproving, evil, looks from moany neighbours! Only one has actually complained, but I am assured they all object - and the dirty looks, pointing, and exaggerated inspections of the van, suggest this is true. I feel like moving my writing desk to the back of the house so I can't see them all!

We offered to cover it up, build a fence around it, chuck camoflage netting over the top... the list goes on, but nothing is acceptable except its disappearance.

The caravan is clean, tidy, and smaller than a transit van, which would also, apparently, be completely fine. We are now looking into renting the parking space to a VERY UGLY LORRY. :-) So if you have a very ugly lorry, tractor, boat, double decker bus, or other unattractive vehicle, that would fit the 4.3m space available, please apply here. Very reasonable rates to help pay for caravan storage!

Does anyone else have stupid deeds or hypocritical neighbours that take the edge off their writing day? :-(


  1. Whilst not a practical answer, it's a pity you can't camouflage it to look like the canal boat on wheels - or perhaps drape it in lights to make it look like a boat as Blackpool trams do - that might throw a spanner in their argument. Wholeheartedly agree with you, the caravan is no eyesore at all. Perhaps writing at the other end of the house is the answer - I adopted the Victor Meldrew attitude to my neighbours ten years ago. Now they talk about me instead of to me and I can get on with my work.

    1. Your response gave me a wonderful lift Anthony. Thank you so much. :-)